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Professor Wrestling: 'SummerSlam' Results

Batista, Cena Clash In Babyface Brawl

POSTED: 7:08 pm PDT August 14, 2008
UPDATED: 8:20 pm PDT August 17, 2008

Listen up!

Class is in session.

It’s already mid-August? That means only two things: I'm one year older (send birthday well-wishes or hate mail to the address below) and WWE is in "SummerSlam" mode. Of the latter, here are the results from the big show:

WWE Women's/Intercontinental Mixed Title Match: Santino Marella and Beth Phoenix vs. Kofi Kingston (c) and Mickie James (c)
What Should Happen: In this one, whoever gets the pin gets both titles for both genders. If I were making the call, Phoenix gets the pin so she can constantly remind Santino that she won him Kingston's IC title. Comedy gold, kids.

What Will Happen: The heel team of Marella and Phoenix will win.

What Did Happen: Phoenix got the pin. She's the Women's champ and Santino gets his IC belt back.

'SummerSlam' 2007 Results

Challenge Match: MVP vs. Jeff Hardy
What Should Happen: Both of these clowns need to win, but Hardy needs it more. It wasn't too long ago that he was getting a major title push, and now he’s slumming in the mid-card. If it were up to me, he’d meet his brother Matt Hardy at "WrestleMania 25" for the ECW title.

What Will Happen: Jeff Hardy gets the win over MVP.

What Did Happen: MVP got the clean pin.

ECW Championship Match: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry (c)
What Should Happen: If I'm writing the show, I give Hardy this belt no matter what. It's that simple. While I continue to applaud the addition of Tony Atlas, Henry as champion does nothing for me.

What Will Happen: Hardy gets the pin and the ECW belt.

What Did Happen: Hardy got the win, but by DQ.

Hell In A Cell Match: Edge vs. Undertaker
What Should Happen: While I'm not really pumped for this meeting, I have to admit Edge is great these days in almost everything he does. Undertaker, meanwhile, is always steady in a pay-per-view setting. What should happen? Edge should turn babyface and go forward battling Vickie and her goons. The match with the Undertaker really doesn't matter in this storyline.

What Will Happen: I'm picking Edge to win this one. It's not "WrestleMania," so UT can lose.

What Did Happen: UT pinned Edge after a Tombstone piledriver.

Challenge Match: Batista vs. John Cena
What Should Happen: I'll have to admit, I wasn't that keen on these two locking up at first. But on "Raw" the past few weeks, WWE writers have done a great job building the match, with Cena especially good on the microphone. Who should win? I'd give round one to Cena, round two to Batista and then the rubber match (hopefully it'll be a title match by then) to whoever needs the rub at "WrestleMania 25."

What Will Happen: Cena will get the clean pin.

What Did Happen: Batista pinned Cena.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: JBL vs. C.M. Punk (c)
What Should Happen: This is a good program, kids. JBL is pure money in his promos leading up to this one, and Punk -- embracing the "I'm not an underdog" role -- is showing he belongs on the mic, too. I have to think Punk will retain. JBL has had his turn as a heel champion, and now it's time for him to help build up younger stars.

What Will Happen: Punk will keep his title, pinning JBL.

What Did Happen: Punk pinned JBL, keeping his gold.

WWE Championship Match: The Great Khali vs. Triple H (c)
What Should Happen: This match won't be as horrible as most of the free world thinks it will be. HHH won't let Khali drag him down on such a big stage. As for who wins? The shocker of the year would see Khali get a clean pin over Hunter -- but Trips would never allow it.

What Will Happen: Triple H pins the big goof.

What Did Happen: Triple H retained his belt after pinning Khali.

That’ll do it. For the night, I picked four winners, and was slightly wrong on three. That's still better than .500, kids, and it still makes me a genius. I'm so modest.

Time now to scram, because class is … dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )


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